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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I hit up the bakery on Kullaviksvägen. Best pastries in town, no cap. I’m talkin’ about those cinnamon rolls that make you wanna cry. I grab one, and boom! The lady behind the counter spills coffee all over my gladiator gear. Like, seriously? I’m a Bestiary, not a mop! I was fuming, but then she gave me a free roll. Sweetened the deal, I guess.

Sweden's mouse-sized mini street art comes to Stockholm for the first time